Today is officially my last day before starting my new job on Monday. I am excited as I am tired of having conversations with the cats "hey guys, what do you think about this outfit? and I wonder who Ellen will have on today." But it will be an adjustment for them too, as I won't be home all day to poke them while they sleep in the sun and whine "pay attention to me!" I know...what has my life come to?
Anyway, I am also very nervous to start my job. I am pretty sure I can handle the responsibilities and hope that I will live up to the expectations that they have for me...but, it still freaks me out. I hate to fail (okay, so I am not sure who likes to fail...but you know what I mean). In addition, in 13 years since my graduation from college, this will officially only be my 5th job. I worked for the state of Missouri between undergrad and grad school and then only had three jobs after grad school (including the one I left prior to moving to Chicago). I know some of you might be thinking "Wow, get over yourself." But there is always something frightening about starting a new job. New people, new systems and applications to get used to, finding the right mix of being friendly but not looking like I am trying too hard. Because quite honestly, I have always wanted people to like me...and it scares me to death to think my new co-workers might not! It's a small office and if one person says "Whoa, she's weird..." it might permeate throughout the organization. So keep your fingers crossed that my weirdness will only show itself after I have won their hearts.
So tonight some of my friends and I are going to celebrate my return to employment. I know it will be fun and it will be my last big hurrah for awhile. July will be filled with many travels including a trip back to Dallas to see my Bestie and celebrate her daughter's 3rd birthday (I can hardly believe she's 3!) Because of the planned trips, I need to re-hibernate my credit card after tonight. It has reappeared in celebration of my job - we've celebrated A LOT. I am looking forward to trying some new establishments in Chicago tonight and am going to try to control myself so I don't spend the evening praying to the porcelain god or worse yet, fall down, which I tend to do a lot of when I have been imbibing adult beverages.
Enjoy the weather and good friendships, Nora
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I understand how you feel but keep telling yourself that everything is going to be just fine. All the people in that office must have gone through a similar process when they started so they'll understand. I'm sure they are excited to have you on board, but they might also be as concerned about living up to your expectations. You have great qualifications and a million-dollar personality, plus it takes a lot of courage to do what you did. They know it will take a lot to impress you. Hang in there and simply be yourself next week!
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